You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
