thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
