And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i now understand why vodka
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
