The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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