Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm passing your future prison.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
