i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
