They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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