i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
