apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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