D3 body, D1 cock
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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