The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
