Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
