i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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