I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
