At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
