Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
