my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
