Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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