Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
