Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
