Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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