Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
