do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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