So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
