Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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