I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
