I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
