Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
