I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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