Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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