i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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