what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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