I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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