I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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