Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
