i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
