Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
