This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
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