Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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