I just threw up on my dentist
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
