just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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