they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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