i jhust puked up my retainher.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
