everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We don't watch enough power rangers
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
