the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is classic penis vs brain.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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