He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
