you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
