We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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