my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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