so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize
