So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
